笑翻天經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話

時(shí)間：2020-08-24 11:48:39 英語(yǔ)笑話

笑翻天經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話

　　笑話是一種簡(jiǎn)單的藝術(shù)語(yǔ)言，它能讓我們心情變得愉快，今天我們就一起來(lái)看看笑翻天經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話吧!

笑翻天經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話

　　笑翻天經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(一)

　　兔子的論文

　　It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

　　這是一個(gè)陽(yáng)光燦爛的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字機(jī)上敲敲打打。這時(shí)一只散步的狐貍走了過(guò)來(lái)。

　　Fox: "What are you working on?"

　　狐貍：“你在做什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "My thesis."

　　兔子：“寫(xiě)我的論文。”

　　Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"

　　狐貍：“唔，是關(guān)于什么的?”

　　Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

　　兔子：“噢，我在寫(xiě)兔子是怎樣吃掉狐貍的。”

　　Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

　　狐貍：“你太搞笑了吧!誰(shuí)都知道兔子不吃狐貍。”

　　Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

　　兔子：“兔子當(dāng)然吃，我能證明的。跟我來(lái)。”

　　They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

　　它們一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，幾分鐘后只有兔子獨(dú)自出來(lái)了。它回到打字機(jī)前繼續(xù)敲打。

　　Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

　　很快，一只狼走了過(guò)來(lái)，停下看著兔子奮力工作。

　　Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"

　　狼：“你在寫(xiě)什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

　　兔子：“我在寫(xiě)論文，關(guān)于兔子如何吃掉狼。”

　　Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

　　狼：“你不會(huì)指望這種垃圾論文被發(fā)表吧!”

　　Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

　　兔子：“能發(fā)表，你想知道為什么嗎?”

　　The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

　　兔子和狼一起進(jìn)了洞穴，而兔子又一次獨(dú)自走了出來(lái)。幾分鐘后它繼續(xù)打字。

　　Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

　　兔子洞穴里：一個(gè)角落里是一堆狐貍骨頭，另一角落里是一堆狼骨頭。而另一側(cè)是一只獅子，它邊打著飽嗝，邊剔著牙齒。

　　It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

　　論文的題目選什么無(wú)關(guān)緊要。

　　It doesn't matter what you use for data.

　　你用什么作為例證數(shù)據(jù)也無(wú)關(guān)緊要。

　　What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

　　真正重要的是：你的論文導(dǎo)師是誰(shuí)!

　　笑翻天經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(二)

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì)治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?”醫(yī)生問(wèn)。“一次一百塊錢(qián)嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢(qián)就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的`?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現(xiàn)在那沒(méi)人了!”

　　笑翻天經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話(三)

　　A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

　　一位年輕的母親認(rèn)為，世界上還有許多受饑餓的人，浪費(fèi)食物真不應(yīng)該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺(jué)之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油，但孩子說(shuō)她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬涂在面包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說(shuō)道，露茜，當(dāng)我象你一樣小的時(shí)候，總是吃面包加黃油，或者面包加果醬，從來(lái)沒(méi)有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會(huì)兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然后她柔聲說(shuō)：您現(xiàn)在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?

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